


Step By Step

by Rumaan



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Isak/Even (hints), Karl Magnusson appears I'm sorry, Mutual Pining, Noora/William (minor), Romance, set in season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 05:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11480040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumaan/pseuds/Rumaan
Summary: When Yousef confronts the Penetrators about how they are treating Sana, he doesn't expect to mistaken as her boyfriend. He's also not too sad when it does happen.





	Step By Step

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cherrylove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrylove/gifts).



> This is a gift for the amazing @lydiamartenism who passed her Nursing Boards a couple of weeks ago! Congrats Hunter! Here's some fake dating for you!
> 
> This fic is set in S2, but I'm ignoring the Noora sexual assault storyline not because it doesn't have value because it really did but I can't squeeze it realistically in here. Also, I've moved things in Even's story that hints at a start of Evak that happens before S3 and gets rid of the fall out with the Balloon Squad.
> 
> Many many many thanks to @fallacyinwonderland on Tumblr for helping with the Turkish in this and also to her and @ribboncouture for reading over parts and checking that I'm portraying WOC well.
> 
> Title comes from lyrics from I Feel It Coming because why not?

“Yousef?”

He startles as someone calls his name, turns and then frowns as he sees Karim’s fiancé, Jamilla, approach him.

“Er…hi,” he says hesitantly.

He’s not sure what she wants with him and is also confused by the fact that she actually knows his name. They have never really interacted although he had gone to her engagement party, but that’s because half of Oslo had been at the engagement party.

“Sorry for disturbing you. You’ve finished classes for the day, right?” Jamilla asks.

“Yeah.”

“Great. Can we sit for a moment?”

The situation is getting weirder and weirder but he nods. . She and her squad have a reputation for being intimidating. Nadhim, who goes to Nissen, has spoken more than once about scary they are. However, from what he knows about Jamilla then she wouldn’t approach him unless she had a good reason.

“It’s about Sana,” Jamilla says.

Yousef’s heart pounds heavily in his chest at Sana’s name and he can’t help but lean forward a little, showing greater interest than he probably should. He shouldn’t have a crush on his best friend’s little sister but he does. He’s been so gone for her ever since she returned from Morocco the summer before she turned sixteen and, suddenly, she wasn’t the annoying snarky little sister who kicked all their arses at basketball, but beautiful and interesting. He’s had trouble keeping his eyes from her ever since.

“Sana? Shouldn’t you be going to Karim or Elias about this?”

“If I want to start a fight then yes, but I don’t. So I’m coming to you. You’re the one who’s calmest out of Elias’ friends and I think you know that boy, Nadhim Haddad, right?”

“Yeah, we played football together as kids.”

“Right. He’s part of this Russebuss group, the Penetrators, and I think they’re harassing Sana?”

For a moment, he can see is red and hear a roaring sound in his ears. He knows from Elias the problems Sana went through at Urra. Elias used to come to vent to him about he wanted to go down to the school and smash in the faces of all the girls who were making his little sister’s life a misery, but instead Yousef had taken him to the boxing gym to get his frustrations out there, knowing that Elias getting involved would end up with the Police on his case. The thought of Sana going through something again makes _him_ want to punch something this time.

Pausing to get his reaction under control, he asks, “Why do you think that?”

“She’s been to a couple of their parties and was on their bus a couple of weeks ago. I overheard a couple of the guys talking about how they wanted to invite her group of friends on so they could try and sleep with her.”

Yousef’s hands curl into fists, but he keeps them down by his side, maintaining a calm facade. He knows Elias would have been up and off to Nissen already to go and fight them, but that was why Jamilla has come to him and not Elias.

“I would deal with this myself,” Jamilla continues. “But I was kind of harsh about Sana having non-Muslim friends back in autumn and now she doesn’t trust me. She’s been getting comments on her Instagram page calling her out for being a hijabi and partying and she thought it was me and…well, it doesn’t matter what happened, but, yeah, it wasn’t me. I think it’s one of the Penetrator boys trying to punish and bully her for not sleeping with him.”

“What do you want me to do?” he asks with a credible sang-froid that he really doesn’t feel.

“Talk to that Nadhim guy and get him to tell his boys to back the fuck off. I would do it myself but these guys are sexist arseholes and won’t listen to me. They might if you go down. Maybe take one of the others with you. One who won’t tell Elias.”

The only one who’d keep this quiet from Elias is Even, which could work in his favour. He knows the Penetrator gang are all white other than Nadhim so having a white guy with him would probably work best, too. White guys always got super defensive when confronted by brown boys.

“I’m on it,” he says.

Jamilla gives him a smile. “Thanks,” she says.

They both get up from the bench and he says, “You need me to walk you anywhere?”

“I think I can manage to find my way back home,” she says with an amused smile.

She walks out of Bakka with a wave and Yousef turns to go back into the building to find the boys only to be confronted by Elias leaning against the wall next to the entrance with his arms folded. “Are you making a move on my brother’s fiancé?”

“Yeah, cos I would do Karim dirty like that. Like Jamilla would either,” he replies with a roll of his eyes.

“Why’s she talking to you? I didn’t even realise you know her.”

“I don’t,” he says off-hand. “She wanted my sister’s number for a hairdressing appointment.”

“Oh,” Elias says, dropping his arms and losing the suspicious facial expression. “Want to come back to mine? Mama’s making the chicken tagine you like so much tonight.”

“Sure,” he says. He deliberately doesn’t think about how he’ll get to see Sana tonight or Jamilla’s information about what she’s going through.

\-----------

“Do you know anyone at Nissen?” Yousef asks Even as they’re waiting for their History lesson to start.

“No,” Even replies. “Why?”

“I was hoping you might know one of the 97 boys there. I need to go and talk to the Penetrators bus.”

“Penetrators?” Even says scornfully. “They’re called Penetrators?”           

“Yeah and from what I hear, it kind of sums them up, too.”           

“Ugh. They sound gross. Why do you need to talk to them?”

“It’s about Sana. Apparently they are giving her a hard time.”

Even looks at him shrewdly and Yousef can feel his cheeks reddening under the observation. “What?” he asks a little defensively.

“Sana? As in Sana Bakkoush? Elias’ sister?”

“Yep,” he says, trying for nonchalance but sounding a little strangled.

“And why are _you_ going to talk to these Penetrators boys about Sana? Why not Elias?”

It’s Yousef’s turn to look at Even with an unimpressed expression. “Do you want to have to bail Elias out of the Police station?”

“Okay, but how do you even know about this?”

“You know Jamilla, Karim’s fiancé? She came to ask me to help intervene.”

Even snorts.

“What?” Yousef asks, frustrated.

“This is going to backfire really badly. You know that, right?”

“What can I do? Apparently these boys are giving Sana a hard time on Instagram because she won’t sleep with them. Am I meant to just ignore it? Jamilla came to me for help and you think I should just walk away knowing about this?”

“Chill!” Even says with an amused smirk. “But has anyone asked Sana about this? Does she even want your help?”

“Jamilla said Sana doesn’t really trust her anymore. Something about an argument about Sana’s choice of friends. Plus Jamilla is worried about these guys and I know one of them so she asked me to help out. Tell them to back off.”

“You’re so fucked.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I wouldn’t worry about Elias finding out, I’d worry about Sana finding out. Shit! I’d worry about Elias _and_ Sana finding out.”

“Look, I’m just going to go down, talk to Nadhim, and get him to tell his bus to leave Sana alone. That’s it. Are you going to come with me?”

“Oh yeah,” Even said with a grin. “I want a front row seat to this.”

Yousef huffs out an irritated sigh. “Nothing stupid is going to happen and Sana doesn’t even need to find out. Nadhim’s an okay guy even if he’s part of a bus called Penetrators.”

\----------

The next day sees Yousef and Even at Nissen. Yousef’s arranged to meet Nadhim here.

“Hey Yousef!”

Looking around, he sees Nadhim and a couple of white boys chilling on a couple of benches under a tree. Nudging Even to follow, he walks over and claps his hand against Nadhim’s for a shake.

“ _Merhaba_ ,” Nadhim says. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Just needed to talk about a 99 girl.”

“A 99 girl?” Nadhim asks with a frown.

“Yeah. Sana. She’s come to a couple of parties you boys have hosted.”

“Sana?” One of the white boys interjects. “The one who’s covered right?”

“Yeah,” Yousef replies, not liking the smug look on the white boy’s face.

“She’s pretty hot and seems down for a good time. I fancy my chances there.”

Yousef can feel anger start to bubble under his skin at the boy’s words as well as the amused looks the two white boys share.

Nadhim, shooting a brief glance at Yousef, tries to defuse the situation. “C’mon, bro. She’s not going to hook up with you.”

“Why not? She’s not exactly a good girl, going to all these parties and stuff. I bet I could fuck her. I’ve never fucked a Muslim girl before.”

Rage spills over in Yousef, shutting his mind down to everything but the need to punch this guy in the face. His hand shoots out before he can think about his actions, catching the blond kid around the throat and shoving him up against the tree.

“What the fuck?!” the boy chokes.

“You leave Sana the fuck alone,” he snarls. “Stop writing shit on her Instagram and back the fuck off.”

There’s a set of hands on his shoulders and one on his waist, pulling him back and shakes his head, allowing the anger to recede a little and drops his hand from around the boy’s throat.

“What the fuck!” the boy exclaims once more, massaging his throat. “What the fuck is your problem?”

The other white boy steps up, brown hair spilling out of his hoodie and falling over half of his face. “What’s this girl to you? And why should Karl stop pursuing her?”

“He’s her boyfriend,” Even pipes up behind him and Yousef whips his head around to stare at Even in confusion.

However, Even’s words have a bigger impact than anything he’s said so far.

“Oh, sorry bro. I didn’t realise she was taken. My bad,” the arse called Karl says, putting his arms up and stepping back.

“We didn’t know,” the brown hair guy adds. “I’ll put the word out.”

Ignoring the irritation that they are backing off only because they think he’s dating Sana rather than because they are basically harassing her, Yousef presses home his advantage.  “And you’ll stop writing shit on her Instagram?”

The guy looks at Karl. “You’ve been doing that?”

Karl shrugs. “It was just some fun. You know, teach her a lesson about being such a rude bitch.”

Anger floods through Yousef’s body once more and he steps towards Karl again but find the brown haired guy in the way.

“I’ll make sure it stops. I’m the bus boss and I’ll make sure Sana is left alone.”

“You better,” Yousef snaps.

With a nod at Nadhim, Yousef stalks away with Even at his side. Once they’re out of earshot he says, “What the fuck was that about me being Sana’s boyfriend?”

“Neanderthals like that only understand sexist bullshit. A pissed off boyfriend is going to be listened to rather than a friend. Toxic masculinity,” Even says with a shrug.

However, there’s something about Even’s tone that doesn’t quite ring true and Yousef looks at him with narrowed eyes and is not fooled for a moment by his friend’s innocent expression.

“If Elias finds out I’m masquerading as Sana’s boyfriend, he’ll kill me.”

Even snorts. “That’s the least of your crimes here. Elias is going to be less stressed about a false claim to be dating Sana than you keeping this from him and dealing with it yourself. She’s his _sister_.”

Yousef tries to ignore how his stomach sinks at Even’s words, but he can’t. He’s overstepped his bounds, he knows he has. But he also couldn’t ignore it and telling Elias would only have ended in more violence. At least this way, it’s been dealt with and those fuckboys were going to stop harassing Sana. Surely, the outcome justifies the means.

Besides, it’s not like anyone else is going to find out. Even isn’t going to snitch and Nadhim looked embarrassed at his friend’s behaviour and the bus boss seemed happy to shut the whole thing down.

“Nissen looks nice,” Even says changing the subject.

Yousef follows his gaze to see what’s he’s looking at that’s so great, but all he can see are a group of boys hanging out on another bench.

“Yeah, I guess,” he replies. The one attraction this place has better not be here to witness his presence. That would open up a whole can of worms.

\----------

“You didn’t tell me Sana had a boyfriend.”

“Sana?” Noora asks in confusion. “My friend Sana?”

“Yeah, that’s her name right? The Muslim girl.”

“Yes, her name’s Sana but she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

William laughs. “Pretty sure she does. He had Karl in a chokehold the other day.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know. Some bullshit about Karl writing shit on her Instagram. He was pissed anyway.”

“Karl was the one writing that stuff? Ugh, he’s a jerk,” Noora says, getting distracted.

“I told him to lay off anyway. He told Yousef he would, too.”

“Yousef?”

“Sana’s boyfriend.”

Noora wants to believe that William is winding her up. Pretending to know more about her friend than she does, but then she realises that she actually doesn’t know that much about Sana. Her friend never really talks about her home life. The most private thing they know is that Sana’s dad is a surgeon and she wants to follow in his footsteps and that her eldest brother is engaged. But hiding a boyfriend away would be secretive even for Sana.

Except, no one actually ever asks Sana about boys. Noora realises that she’s just assumed Sana doesn’t have a boyfriend because she wouldn’t date because she’s Muslim. A generalisation that’s seemingly wrong.

Now, she’s eaten up with curiosity. Sana’s always so unimpressed with the boys at Nissen so this boy who has somehow broken through her barriers must be something special.

“What’s he like?”

Who?” William asks, playing about on his phone.

Rolling her eyes, she replies, “Sana’s boyfriend.”

“Like a guy,” William says with his brow screwed up in bemusement.

“Ugh, why did I think asking you would be insightful?”

\---------

Sana turns her gaze to Noora quizzically. Her friend is staring at her again, as she’s been for the past couple of days, looking as if she has a million questions behind her red lipstick but doesn’t know how to ask them.

Waiting until Vilde and Chris run off to their Norwegian class, Sana lowers her sunglasses and says, “What?”

“What do you mean, what?”

Tilting her head to show how unimpressed she is, Sana just looks at Noora, who capitulates. “Why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend?”

“A what?” Sana says with a snort.

“A boyfriend. I had to hear it from William.”

“Huh?”

“William told me that Yousef was down here a couple of days ago, confronting that dick Karl about his comments on your Instagram page.”

Sana’s mind goes blank for a brief moment. She only knows one Yousef and that’s her brother’s best friend and there’s no way he would be at Nissen or claiming to be her boyfriend.

 _You’d like him to be though_ , the mischievous voice in her head says and she shakes her head to get rid of it.

Her crush on Yousef is unfortunate. She still isn’t even sure when exactly it developed. One minute he was just another one of her brother’s friends and the next she was aware that she separated Yousef out, thought about him differently to the others and wanted him to notice her, too. These days, she did her best to ignore her feelings. They were inconvenient and he would be really embarrassed if he knew.

“Yousef confronted Karl?” she asks. She suppresses her desire to know how Yousef – if it even _is_ her Yousef – knows about her problems with the Penetrator boys.

“Yeah, Karl promised to back off. Leave you alone and stop harassing you on Instagram. William tells me that he’s enforced this across the bus.”

Sana frowns. “So hang on, my boyfriend comes down and suddenly Karl and the rest of them are going to stop, but before then it was totally fine what they were doing?”

She feels the familiar sensation of anger stirring in the pit of her stomach. She should never have had to deal with this shit in the first place. Turning a boy down for sex is never an excuse to hassle her until she apparently gives in or make her life a misery if she doesn’t. But the fact that it appears that her brother’s friend knows about it and decided to deal with it without consulting her first gives her rage a fire that has her jumping up from her seat and grabbing her stuff.

“Where you going?” Noora asks.

“Just something I’ve got to deal with.”

\-----------

Sana knows where Yousef lives from Eid visits. They always made the rounds of Elias’ friends in particular because those boys practically lived in the Bakkoush home and had done for several years now. Mama and Keriman Acar get on particularly well and when she was younger, Sana had always been sad that Yousef’s sisters were all older than him. She had wished one had been her age so she could have been her best friend the way Elias and Yousef were.

However, now, she doesn’t want any of his family to see her. Pressing her finger to the buzzer, she makes a quick _du’a_ that only Yousef is home so she can deal with this without having to make awkward explanations.

“Sana? What are you doing here? Is Elias okay?” Yousef asks when he pulls the front door open and finds her standing on his doorstep.

“Elias is fine, but I need to talk to you.”

She doesn’t wait for him to step back, instead using her pent up frustration at this whole situation to barge past him and into the Acar house.

“Wow, okay, please come in,” he says amused.

Refusing to beat around the bush, Sana demands, “Did you come down to Nissen last week?”

His wince is telling and she folds her arms across her chest and stares him down.

“It’s not what you think,” he attempts to explain lamely.

“Oh, it’s not what I think? And what exactly is it that I think? I mean, I was very confused to learn this afternoon that I have a boyfriend I didn’t know about and that he’d apparently made a trip to my school to confront some third year boys.”

Yousef grimaces. “You heard about that?”

“Oh yeah, I heard about it. What? You were hoping to keep it quiet? What the fuck, Yousef? Did Elias set you up to this?”

“Elias doesn’t know.”

“Well this just gets better and better.”

“Someone came to me. Someone who cares about you and they were worried these boys were giving you a hard time and asked if I could maybe get them to back off.”

His words stump her for a moment. None of her friends even know that Yousef exists so even if they went behind her back to someone, it wouldn’t be him. Then the pieces fall into place. There is one person at Nissen who knows Elias’ friends and also about the problem she’s been having with the Penetrator boys.

“Fucking hell!” she exclaims. “Jamilla came to you. She can’t stop meddling in my life even when I don’t want her to.”

“She means well. She worries about you.”

“Oh? Suddenly you know what is going on in Jamilla’s head. Best buds are you?”

Yousef pushes his hair back of his face and scuffs his toe into the floorboard uncomfortably. “She overheard some of those Penetrator boys talking about you and she didn’t like what they were saying.”

Clenching her teeth together angrily, Sana grinds out, “She could have come and talked to me about it.”

“Could she?”

The simple question stops the flow of enraged words crowding her throat and she brings her arms down, tucking them into her side and curling her fists into her pockets. After the Facebook incident the other week she’s been avoiding Jamilla like the plague. Would she have stuck around to listen had Jamilla approached her? Probably not.

However, she’s not ready to let go of her fury just yet so she turns her ire onto Yousef himself. “Why did she come to you then? What possessed her to come to someone so unconnected to me about my personal problems?”

Sana thinks she spots a gleam of hurt in his eyes, but before she can be sure, he’s blinked and there’s nothing there. “I know Nadhim Haddad,” he says with a shrug. “She thought I could help and she really didn’t want to go to either Karim or Elias about this. Your brothers have always punched first and thought later.”

It was true. All three of them let their anger control them at times. Sana couldn’t deal with her problems physically all the time like her brothers, not when she was often so much smaller than everyone else. So she had learnt to use sharp wit and cutting words to lash out at people. It had proven effective, too. Maybe even more so than fists.

“Jamilla didn’t need to go to anyone. I was dealing with it.”                                       

Yousef’s facial expression softens and he takes a small step towards her. “She was trying to protect you, especially after Urra.”

“What do you know about Urra?” she asks sharply.

“I’m Elias’ best friend. Who do you think kept him from marching down to your school and knocking people out?”

Sana’s not sure she cares for this revelation. She hadn’t been able to keep her problems at Urra hidden from her family, not after the school called in Social Services to help her ‘deal with her anger management issues’, but she had always worked so hard to keep the wider world from finding out. She didn’t like any of her vulnerabilities to be out on show and Yousef knowing about this makes her reassess exactly how he sees her. Had he come to Nissen because he felt sorry for her? Poor little Sana who couldn’t fight her own battles and needed to be rescued so he had donned his suit of shining white armour to come play at being her knight.

“I don’t need your pity and I don’t need your help,” she spits out resentfully.

“That’s not why I-” he begins before the buzzer rings again. Irritation written clearly on his face, he strides over to the door and pulls it open.

“Yousef, man, you were meant to meet us outside twenty minutes ago. What’s the hold up?”

Sana closes her eyes at the sound of her brother’s voice. Of course he would show up now, suddenly concerned about punctuality just when she’s alone with Yousef in his house. Couldn’t she catch a break?

Elias stops just over the threshold as he spots Sana. He stares at her uncomprehendingly for a moment before looking at Yousef with raised eyebrows. “Any particular reason why my sister is in your house?” he asks his friend in a dangerously soft voice. “And don’t say she wants your sister’s number for a hairdressing appointment.”

There are two choices here; either Elias finds out about the Penetrator boys or she goes along with this boyfriend story. A story she’s not even entirely sure how it came about. They hadn’t even got to that part yet.

“Chill, Elias,” she says, moving forward and standing by Yousef’s side. “We were just figuring out how to tell you.”

“How to tell me what?”

Taking a deep breath, Sana takes the plunge. “We’re dating.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Yousef turn to face her with a stunned expression on his face. Worried, that he’d ruin everything, she grabs his hand and squeezes it as a warning.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“We’re dating. It’s new. It happened last week. You’re the first person we’ve told.”

Which is technically true. She’s only found out about her ‘boyfriend’ today and this _is_ their first time telling someone together.

“You and Yousef?” Elias asks, his voice unnaturally high.

“No, dummy, me and Stephen Curry. Yes Yousef.”

“And you actually like him back?”

“Obviously,” she says slowly as if talking to an idiot. She feels Yousef wince at her brother’s words but doesn’t understand why.

“Wow, okay, well, I didn’t expect this, but if you’re going to date anyone then at least Yousef’s a good guy.”

“Thanks, I think,” Yousef says dryly.

Elias steps towards them, a smile on his face, and punches Yousef on the shoulder. It’s harder than it looks because Sana feels the vibrations down her own arm. “Just don’t get too many ideas. She’s my sister and Karim is a medical student so he’ll know how to hide the body.”

Rolling her eyes, thoroughly unimpressed with this display of big brother machismo, Sana untangles her hand from Yousef’s and starts towards the door. “Okay, tough guy, I’ll leave Yousef in your hands. Treat him well or you’ll have me to answer to.”

“I’ll call you later,” Yousef says with a shaky smile.

“You better,” she replies before stepping outside.

Leaning against the wall, she takes a moment to figure out what the hell just happened. She’d come here to confront Yousef about meddling in her affairs and somehow had left with her brother thinking they were dating.

“Ha!” she hears Elias say inside. “My sister has you whipped already. Good luck dating the toughest Bakkoush of us all.”

Slowly making her way back down the street, she tries to work out how she’s gained a fake boyfriend in the last ten minutes.

 _You’re just bitter because he’s not your real boyfriend_ , the voice inside her head says smugly.

She wishes the voice was wrong but she’s gone enough to admit that it’s spot on.

\----------

Her phone rings just after nine that night with an unknown number. Sana normally ignores numbers she doesn’t know, but thinking it might be Yousef, she puts her Mathematics book down and picks up the phone.

_“Hey, it’s Yousef.”_

“Hi,” she replies, feeling inexplicably shy. She’s never had alone conversations with any of her brother’s friends before. She’s only ever interacted with them around Elias. This afternoon when she marched in on Yousef, she’d been too angry to think about this. However, now that he’s calling and they are supposedly dating, she feels nervous and unsure of herself.

_“I had to get your number from Elias. He was confused as to why I didn’t have it.”_

“How did you explain that away?”

_“Said that we communicate mainly via Facebook but that you’d told me to call and so I’d better call.”_

Sana chokes out a laugh at that. “That was kind of smooth. I’m impressed.”

_“I have my moments.”_

“Apparently.”

Silence falls between them and she chews the top of the pen, not knowing what to say now.

_“Who told you about my visit to Nissen?”_

“My friend Noora. She’s dating the Penetrators’ bus boss.”

_“Oh.”_

“Yeah, she confronted me about hiding a boyfriend away.”

_“Sorry about that. That guy Karl was being a real dick and Even piped up that I was your boyfriend. I…er…I don’t want you think that it was planned or anything. Or hold you to it. You can tell your friends and Elias the truth whenever you like. Or well, maybe not the truth to Elias but that we’re not dating anymore. ”_

It doesn’t make sense how disappointed she is by his words. Obviously, he’s giving her a way out. A way to say that she isn’t dating him and it shouldn’t matter whose idea the fake relationship is because the reality of the situation is that it’s fake as in not real. But she wants it to have been his idea. Maybe then she can pretend that he has hidden feelings for her and this is some sort of ploy to get them actually dating. Plus, she can’t help but think that maybe he’s regretting this whole thing. That he’s been dragged into a fake relationship with his best friend’s little sister that is going to massively cramp his style. It’s not like he can go around hooking up with girls or whatever he does when Elias is there reminding him that he’s meant to be dating her.

Then she realises that Yousef took Even with her to Nissen and another one of her brother’s friends knows about the problems she’s been having, which doesn’t thrill her. At least it’s Even out of all of them. He was good at keeping his mouth shut from what she’s observed of him.

“Even was there?”

There’s a pause.

_“Yeah, sorry. I wanted to take someone with me because it’s always better to at least have one extra person and Even is the best at keeping a secret. He won’t tell anyone, Sana.”_

“And it was his idea?”

_“He said it out of the blue. Something about how guys like that only accept a girl is off limits if she has a boyfriend.”_

“Fuckboys,” she says dismissively.

_“Basically. I know I overstepped. I should have spoken to you. Jamilla probably should have, too. And It’s not because of pity. I know you mentioned that earlier. But this wasn’t because of pity or that I don’t think you can deal with situations. I just…I just don’t want you to have to deal with things alone.”_

Sana narrows her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

_“You have a network of people who want to help you. You don’t have to do everything alone because you’re not alone.”_

She’s not used to hearing words like that. Even with the girls there’s a barrier there; one that she’s erected because she struggles to fully trust anyone these days. Not after Urra. She’s relied on herself for so long that the thought of being able to go to someone else with her problems is an alien concept.

There’s another pause between them.

_“You can come to me at any time.”_

She almost misses the words they’re so quiet and hesitant and she wants to read more into them than he probably means. She wants to think that he talking outside the capacity of her brother’s closest friend who has known her since she was four and Yousef would come over for playdates with her brother in the holidays. But he’s probably not. All of Elias’ friends view her as some kind of honorary little sister, which infuriates her sometimes, but is something she’s generally accepted.

Except with Yousef.

Sana doesn’t want him to see her as a little sister. She wants him to see her for her and to like what he sees. The thought of just how much she actually likes him when she’s not pushing her feelings aside scares her and she needs to get off the phone. There’s no way she can talk to him and deal with just how much this whole situation is messing with her mind.

“Thanks. I have to go now. Mama is calling me.”

_“Oh, okay. Bye. Speak soon.”_

“Yeah, bye.”

\-----------

“Earth to Yousef,” Elias says clicking his fingers in front of Yousef’s face.

“Huh? What? Sorry, I zoned out for a moment.”

“Thoughts of my sister getting to you that much?”

Heat floods into his cheeks at the accuracy of Elias’ words. The truth is that he hasn’t stopped thinking about Sana since Jamilla sought him out. At first, it was concern that she was having difficulties with a bunch of third year guys, but now it’s more about how much he wants to talk to her. She fascinates him. From the angry way she barged into his house to call him out for being in her business to the way she stepped forward and held his hand when Elias found them alone together. She could have thrown him to the wolves and told her brother exactly what was going on, but she hadn’t. Instead, she’d held his hand and said they were dating.  He could still feel the phantom warmth of her palm resting snugly against his.

 _Stop it!_ he scolds himself. _She was protecting Elias not you, idiot!_

The sad thing is, it’s true. There’s no way Sana wants Elias to find out about that Karl dick. Elias would be down at Nissen in a flash beating the crap out of him. Pretending to date him is a much simpler explanation even if it messes with his head.

“Why would Yousef be thinking about Sana?” Mutta asks.

 

Elias rolls his eyes. “Somehow this dork has managed to convince my little sister to date him.”

 

“Oh hai! Oh hai!” Adam calls out cheekily. “Yousef _finally_ admitted his feelings.

 

Mikael and Mutta snicker.

 

“What’s that meant to mean?” he asks.

 

“C’mon, bro,” Adam says. “We all know you’ve had a crush on Sana for a year.”

 

Yousef looks a little warily at Elias, who sighs and adds, “It’s true. You’ve had heart eyes for my sister for a really tiresome amount of time.”

Has he been that obvious? He likes to think he’s done a better job at hiding his feelings for her away.

“It’s been kind of sickening to witness. Even, back me up here,” Mikael says.

Even looks at Yousef with a shit eating grin. “We all know what lengths you’d go for her.”

Yousef narrows his eyes at Even. If it wasn’t for Even then he wouldn’t be pretending to be Sana’s boyfriend right now.

“Just remember to keep an arm’s length away from her. That’s my little sister,” Elias says with the menacing Bakkoush stare.

“Relax!” Yousef says, “I’m not going to disrespect Sana at all. It’s not like that.”

“Besides, she’d kick his arse if he did,” Adam interjects.

Mutta grins. “I’m more scared of Sana than you, Elias.”

“Karim and I taught her everything she knows.”

“Karim maybe, but you forget I’ve sparred with you down at the boxing gym,” Yousef says, pleased to get away from the topic of him and Sana.

“You all suck,” Elias mutters.

\-----------

Sana’s doing her best to ignore the stares from the Penetrator boys as Noora makes plans with William and they wait in the background. All comments on her Instagram have stopped and as well as the suggestive looks from Karl whenever she passes him in the corridor but she hates how they all still stare at her as if they cannot believe a girl refused to sleep with one of them.

Ignoring them completely, Sana gets her phone out her pocket and gets up her Instagram feed as something to look at.

“Sana!” a voice calls out over the yard.

Looking up, she sees Yousef making his way through the crowds of students leaving for the day and frowns a little. She hasn’t made any plans to see him and is that _Even_ with him?

However, out the corner of her eye, she can see Karl shifting uncomfortably on his feet, his eyes locked on Yousef and she smirks a little. She might as well use this situation to her advantage and make that fucker feel unnerved for a change.

“Yousef,” she replies, moving away from the girls and towards Yousef. Leaning up on her tiptoes she puts her arms around his neck and tugs him in for a hug.

He’s stiff for a split second as if unsure what to do, then his arms wrap around her and he bends his head down towards her ear.

“Sorry, Even insisted on coming down. Something about how not seeing you for a couple of days is suspicious.”

Pulling back, Sana doesn’t dwell on how bereft she feels out of his arms. Instead, raising a small hand to wave in Even’s direction. He gives her an amused salute before his attention is drawn elsewhere with an intensity she hasn’t seen from him before. Following his gaze, Sana raises her eyebrows a little as she sees he’s watching Isak.

“Hmm…are you sure Even wanted to come down for that reason?”

“What?” Yousef asks and then turns to see what she’s looking at. “Okay wow. I’m sure that’s one of the guys he was watching last time. He’s using this situation to hit on a guy? Hang on, he likes guys? Is that why he broke up with Sonja? I’m confused.”

 “Does it take that much to confuse you though?”

“Wow, it’s good to know you think so highly of me.”

 Sana laughs and says, “If it’s any consolation, I’m pretty sure Isak likes guys, too.”

“Hmm,” Yousef murmurs non-committedly and when she looks up at him, he’s busy watching the Penetrator boys walk off. Turning her head towards them, she sees both William and Nadhim wave at him but Karl is looking anywhere but at where they are standing.

“How’s that going?” Yousef ask, waving a hand in their direction.

“It’s stopped. No more Instagram comments or anything.”

“Good.”

“Hey, girl, aren’t you forgetting something,” Chris says behind her.

Spinning around, Sana sees all four of her friends standing in a line looking at Yousef with far too much interest. Internally groaning, she realises there’s no way she can back out of making introductions.

“Girls, this is Yousef. Yousef, this is Eva, Chris, Noora and Vilde,” she says pointing to her friends from left to right.

“Hi,” he says with a smile.

Vilde’s eyes flick back and forth between them before she asks, “Is Yousef your brother?”

“Nei Vilde,” Sana says as Yousef looks disturbed and then bursts out laughing.

“What? What did I say? She hugged him. She can only do that with her brothers, right?”

“Oh Vilde,” Noora says before stepping forward with her hand held out. “Nice to meet you, Yousef.”

“You, too” Yousef says, shaking Noora’s hand and then the rest of the girls.

“So, how did you two meet?” Chris asks. “Sana’s never mentioned you before.”

“He’s my brother’s friend,” Sana says in a dampening tone in a vague hope that her lack of enthusiasm will shut all questions down.

“Oh, is this an arra-,” Vilde starts to ask before Eva elbows her sharply in the side. “Ouch, that hurts!”

“So you’ve known Sana a long time?” Eva asks loudly.

“Since she was four.”

That gets squeals out of the girls. “Oh I bet baby Sana was so cute,” Noora says.

“Don’t answer that,” Sana remarks with a warning finger in Yousef’s direction. “Hadn’t we better collect Even and get out of here?”

Spinning away from the far too interested gazes of her friends, she misses Yousef mouthing, “So cute!” before she grabs his hand and says, “Talk to you all later.”

\---------

Later that afternoon, as she’s sitting in her room and trying not to listen to the boys messing around outside, her phone blows up.

 **Noora:** SANAAAAA! Yousef is so handsome.

 **Eva:** How come you didn’t tell us you have a boyfriend?

 **Chris:** Girl, you’ve been holding out!

 **Sana:** We haven’t been dating long. It’s still new.

 **Vilde:** You should bring him to the next party!

 **Sana:** Maybe

 **Chris:** And more of your brother’s friends.

 **Chris:** How many more hot guys are you hiding from us?

 **Eva:** I could do with a change of scene in boys. Introduce us to your brother’s friends.

 **Noora:** I saw Sana’s brother once. He’s cute. But isn’t he already engaged to that Hijabi police girl?

 **Sana:** Depends on which one you saw. I have two brothers.

 **Vilde:** Two? Is the other one engaged too?

 **Sana:** No. He’s too immature.

 **Eva:** And Yousef is friends with the engaged or unattached brother?

 **Sana:** Don’t you guys have anything better to talk about?

 **Sana:** My brothers are boring.

 **Chris:** So does Yousef have any brothers?

 **Noora:** Yeah you can’t call Yousef boring.

 **Sana:** Bye

She puts her phone down with a groan. She’s always been so good at keeping her family and friends separate. Keeping her two worlds different. And she does think of them like that. Her home life is her Moroccan world and her friends are her Norwegian world and they should never mix.

Except now they were because the girls had met Yousef and were now showing far too much interest.

This wasn’t a good thing.

\--------

“I’m going to get a drink,” Yousef says as they pause FIFA 16 and argue about whose go it is next and who gets to play with Liverpool and who got to be Man Utd.

Elias shoots him an unimpressed look but says nothing other than, “Make sure you’re back before it’s your turn again. I’m not going to stop the tournament just so you can go hang out with my sister.”

He rolls his eyes and a waves a hand dismissively towards the boys, but can’t hide the smile that breaks out on his face. He’s had to make so many excuses over the past year to be in the same room as Sana, but now he doesn’t anymore and Elias isn’t going to hunt him down if he’s longer than a couple of minutes to find out just why he’s taking so long.

“You’ve got it bad,” Mutta laughs at him, but he doesn’t bother turning around to reply. Not when Sana is in the kitchen, her books spread out before her.

“Hi,” he says as he enters and grabs a glass from the cupboard for cover.

“Hey,” she replies.

“Want a drink?” he asks.

“No thanks.”

“What you studying?”

“Chemistry,” she says with a grimace.

“I would offer to help, but I was never very good at science.”

“It’s okay, I’m due a break anyway.”

Getting his glass of juice, he sits down at the table opposite her. It still feels a little awkward as if he’s breaking some kind of rule and is going to get caught any minute.

“Your friends found me on Facebook,” he mentions casually.

He sees her face pucker in confusion. “Huh?!”

“I got four friend requests late last night, an invitation to a party on Friday, a question about whether I have any brothers and whether I was friends with your engaged or immature brother.”

“Oh God,” she says, closing her eyes and he can’t help but grin at her reaction. “I’m so sorry. I’ll tell them to back off.”

“It’s nice. They care about you.”

“They’re nosy.”

“Or they’re being typical friends. Also, if you think their questions are invasive then trying being friends with that lot,” he says, pointing behind him at the book room where the boys are sitting.

Her dimples peep out and he mentally congratulates himself on getting her to smile. A smile from Sana is always an achievement. She’s so serious most of the time, determined to keep her guard up and not let anyone in. He likes that he nearly always manages to get her to smile; it makes him feel special.

“Did you respond?”

“I accepted their friend requests and told them they needed to ask you those questions.”

“They have.”

He raises his eyebrows. “And they didn’t like the answers?”

“I didn’t give them any.”

He can feel his face fall a little and he tries to hide it behind taking a swig of his juice. Of course she doesn’t want to give them any details about him. He’s not her real boyfriend and she’s probably already trying to figure out a way to get out of this situation. Why make a big deal out of someone who’s not even important to her? It will only make things more awkward in the long run.

“Yousef!” Elias shouts from the book room. “If you’re not back here in ten seconds then you’re disqualified and can’t play anymore.”

Swallowing his disappointment at how much she wants to keep him hidden away from her friends, he gets up and says, “And there’s my cue.”

\-----------

“Can you not stalk my boyfriend on social media please,” Sana says before even greeting her friends.

The word boyfriend still sticks a little in her throat but it’s kind of scary just how used she is to saying it and thinking. She can’t get used to this because it’s not true and it’s not going to last and the more she forgets that the harder it’s going to be when he gets an actual girlfriend and she goes back to being the little sister of his best friend who he’s polite to.

“Being friendly is not stalking him,” Eva objects.

Sana looks at them all unimpressed. “How many of us are friends with William on social media?”

All the girls except her put their hands up.

“Oh. Really?”

“Yep,” Chris says.

“That’s still different. He actually goes to our school. There’s a reason for it.”

“Why are you being so cryptic about him?” Noora asks.

“Is it a secret? Does your family not know?”

“Nei, Vilde. It would be hard to hide from Elias.”

“Elias?” Vilde asks pouncing on the name.

“My brother,” she says with a sigh, realising she’s given more information than she planned to.

“Aha!” Chris says, brandishing her phone where she has rapidly found Elias. “Yousef is friends with the unattached one. He’s cute, too.”

“Ooh, that’s the one I saw that time,” Noora says, leaning over Chris’ shoulder to see her phone.

Before Sana can complain about boundaries…or the lack of them in this case, her own phone pings. Ignoring how the girls are now scrolling through Yousef’s Facebook pictures, pointing out Elias in all of them, she pulls it out her pocket.

 **Yousef:** Even saw the party invite on my Facebook page and he wants to go.

 **Sana:** Why?

 **Yousef:** Honestly? I think he’s hoping that boy at your school will be there, but he’s claiming that my presence will keep the Penetrator boys off your back.

 **Sana:** Do _you_ want to come?

 **Yousef:** It could be fun.

She suppresses how heavily her heart pounds at his reply. She’s never been to a party with Yousef and she wonders what it will be like – especially as they will have to spend time together as everyone thinks they’re dating. Allowing temptation to dictate her actions for once, she leans into the situation.

 **Sana:** Okay, then come. You might as well bring the rest of the boys, too.

Stuffing her phone back in her pocket before she changes her mind and disinvites him, she turns her attention back to her friends.

“Okay, Yousef is coming to the party on Friday. And he’s bringing my brother and their friends.”

The girls cheer and she reluctantly smiles. Sometimes you cannot stop momentum and this is one of those times.

\-----------

Sana cringes as her brother and his friends turn up to meet them at the train station with a massive bunch of balloons. Elias is grinning, so proud of himself and she can’t suppress the roll of her eyes as he hands them over to a clearly charmed Vilde. Ugh, her friends are going to make Elias think he’s actually smooth rather than just a loser.

“Gross,” she mutters until she’s suddenly confronted by Yousef, who is not holding a balloon but a cute little Scylla that he’s obviously picked somewhere.

Blushing a little as he offers it to her with a flourish and an adorable smile, she takes it and stares down at it. No one’s ever given her anything that could be construed as romantic before and she’s a little unsure of what to do with it. Obviously, she can’t do what every girl in every rom-com does and tuck it cutely behind her ear, so she slides it into the side of her hijab.

Raising shy eyes to his, she says, “Thanks.”

“Aww,” Vilde coos, still clutching the ridiculous bunch of multi-coloured balloons.

Turning her gaze away from Yousef, she realises that everyone’s attention is on them and she scowls and snaps, “What?”

“Nothing. Nothing,” Noora says hastily before pointing to the on-coming train and directing attention away from them.

Unfortunately, Sana is close enough to Yousef to hear the comments from his friends.

“That was pretty smooth,” Mikael says quietly.

“She actually blushed,” Mutta pointed out.

“Hush,” Yousef says before he pauses a moment, which allows her to draw alongside him. “Here,” he says, reaching out for her hand before she steps onto the train.

“I think I can walk onto a train,” she says.

“Of course you can,” he replies, but doesn’t let go of her hand.

It’s chivalrous in such a sweet way that it disarms her. It’s becoming harder and harder to keep her guard up around him when he makes little gestures like this and the flower, which she touches a little self-consciously. She’s always shrouded herself an armour of snark, blunt honesty and an I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude. However, with Yousef, this melts away. When he looks at her it’s almost as if he can see deep inside her, beyond the image she portrays externally, to the soft hearted girl who wants to feel accepted and loved purely for herself. She doesn’t miss the slightly awed way her friends look at him as if they cannot believe how soft he makes her just by his presence.

Then there’s how she loves the feel of his palm pressed up to hers, slightly rough and much larger. She’s never really thought about how intimate holding hands really is. There’s always so much focus on kissing and sex in a relationship and she’s always known that is something she wouldn’t do before marriage. Her faith is too strong for that. She wouldn’t compromise her belief in Allah for the fleeting physical pleasure of sharing a bed with someone other than her husband. But she gets how others fall into the temptation as the warmth from Yousef’s hand seeps into hers and she finds herself leaning closer towards him.

This is a dangerous game she’s playing. One that could see her topple firmly into love with him and break her heart into a million little pieces. However, she cannot think about this now. Not when his thumb rubs little soothing circles on the back of her hand and sends shivers up her spine.

“Is Elias giving you much grief?” she asks him quietly, aware of the subtle scrutiny of her brother even as he jokes and flirts with her friends.

“Nothing that I didn’t expect.”

“You know you can end this any time. It can’t be easy with my brother watching your every move. I won’t hold you to continuing on this charade.”

“Shouldn’t that be my line to you? After all, it is my fault you’re in this mess.”

“If we’re attaching blame then we shouldn’t let Even off the hook,” she points out, looking to where he’s standing next to Mikael and talking to Eva.

“Yeah Even,” Yousef says a little heavily.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know. He just seemed so cut up about the break up with Sonja and then after I asked him to come down with me to Nissen that time, he’s had this air of excitement about him and any excuse he can find to go to your school he takes.”

“I think he has a crush on Isak.”

“The blond guy, right?”

“Yeah. Isak was asking me some questions the other day about him, too. Trying to be subtle but failing.”

“Will he be at the party?”

“Probably. I told him you and your friends were coming.”

Yousef nods and continues to look a little thoughtful. This is one the things she likes most about him. How much he thinks and cares for his friends. He wants those around him to be happy. It’s a generosity of spirit that calls out to her. She cannot help but think about how secure and loved she would feel if Yousef truly was her boyfriend.

“I hope he is there,” Yousef says.

“Yeah?”

“It feels like Even is battling with some things right now and he doesn’t know how to tell us. Some days he’s really hyper and pushing for us to do all this mad shit and then other days he’s withdrawn and talking about death. Then he just broke up with Sonja out of the blue and seemed really down about it and now there’s this suppressed air of excitement about him probably due to this guy. I just think he could probably do with something going right. Then maybe he could feel that he can be honest with us. We wouldn’t care, you know, about him being gay.”

“You really care about your friends, don’t you?” she asks impressed.

He smiles widely then. “Yeah. Don’t you?”

Sana looks over to where her friends are grinning and flirting a little with her brother’s friends. She’s always a little confused about how their little group of misfits have banded together despite how different they all are. It’s not always roses and sunshine, sometimes she gets frustrated at how little they seem to understand the challenges in her life, but they care for her. And she would never let anything happen to them.”

“I do.”

“I knew it,” he says with a small laugh. “It’s a Bakkoush thing. Taking care of your friends as if they are your family.”

“Ha! If you have Elias looking after you then I pity you. That boy killed our fish in less than twenty-fours being in charge of them.”

\-------

Yousef couldn’t keep the smile off his face all the way home. This party probably hadn’t been a good idea in the long run, but if he is being honest, it hadn’t taken much persuading from Even to get him to call Sana and ask if they could go. The result, if anything, is that he has fallen even further down the rabbit-hole when it comes to Sana. She’s so amazing and he cannot keep his eyes off her whenever they are together. Perhaps it’s a good thing they are fake dating because at least now he has an excuse to always been staring at her.

He just wishes it is actually real.

But it isn’t as if he could expect someone like Sana to be interested in him. She has so much going for her and is so beautiful that she could have her pick of Oslo. A boy she’s known since she was four and is her older brother’s best friend probably isn’t high up her list of people she’s interested in.

“What’s that smile for?” his sister asks when he flops onto the sofa in the living room.

“Nothing in particular.”

Elif snorts at him. “Yeah, okay. You look that dopey for no real reason.”

“Don’t you like seeing your little brother happy?”

“Depends. What – or should I say _who_ – has made you happy?”

“Who says it’s anyone in particular.”

“Yeah, okay, _küçük kardeşim_ , but there’s no way that sappy smile isn’t about a girl. Are you still crushing on Elias’ sister or is this a different girl?”

Alarmed, he looks over at his sister and says, “What do you know about Sana?”

“Sana!” Elif exclaims clicking her fingers. “That’s her. She’s really pretty. Smart, too, if I remember correctly. Smart enough to constantly put her brothers in their places.”

“She’s alright,” he says dismissively, hoping that he can somehow get her off the scent.

However, she scoffs and says, “Yeah, you have it bad.”

Eyeing Elif with revulsion, he asks, “How do you know anyway?”

“A big sister has her ways and means,” she replies, waggling her eyebrows.

“Ugh. I’m not discussing this with you.”

“Then I won’t tell _anneanne_ to make extra börek for you when I go and visit her tomorrow.”

His stomach wars with his head and wins out. His grandma’s börek is so good and the thought of Elif scoffing it all and leaving none for him is worth the pain of her knowing about his crush on Sana.

Heaving a sigh, he asks, “What do you want to know?”

“Are you dating her?”

Yousef gives her an unimpressed look and then realises that if he says no and she comes across someone who thinks they are then it could be difficult. Elif has links to almost all the Muslim community in Oslo thanks to the hair salon she runs that is hijab friendly. Yet, if he says yes she’ll tell their mum, who’ll then invite Sana over for dinner and that would be a step too far.

“It’s complicated.”

“Complicated? Is Elias being a pain cos I can remind him of the time that he proposed when he was twelve?”

He grins at the memory of his best friend having a crush on sixteen year old Elif and asking her to marry him. “No, Elias is actually fine with it. Well, in theory. I’m not dating her. I’m just pretending to date her.”

The confession gets Elif to actually put her phone down. “Come again?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I have time. I’m not working until later tomorrow so I don’t have to be up early.”

Puffing out his cheeks and mentally preparing himself for a lifetime of mockery from his sister, he fills her in.

Once he’s finished, Elif cracks a grin and says, “You realise this is melodramatic enough to be a plot in _Aşk-ı Memnu_ , right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. As long as you know just how ridiculous this whole situation is.”

She gets up then, ruffles his hair and goes to leave.

“That’s it?” he asks incredulously.

“Is there more?”

“No.”

“Then I’m going to bed.”

“Hang on! Aren’t you going to give me any advice? What do I do?”

“Oh Yousef,” Elif says scrunching up her nose and giving him a pitying look. “You’ll be dating Sana for real within a month.”

“What?”

“She likes you as much as you like her.”

“How do you know that?” he asks confused.

“Because she’s somehow going along with this dumbass plan. I don’t believe for a moment that such a fierce girl needed to. Those Penetrator boys sound like dicks but she probably had it in hand.”

His eyebrows pull together furrowed as he tries to digest his sister’s words. The thought of Sana actually liking him is not something he’s allowed himself to think about.

“So you think she likes me too?”

Elif rolls her eyes and just says, “ _iyi geceler_.”

Leaning his head back against the sofa and staring up at the ceiling, Yousef begins to ponder the possibility that Sana might return his feelings. Warmth seeps across his chest and his grin breaks out once more.

\---------

Sana is grabbing her chemistry book out of her locker when Jamilla stops and leans against the one next to it.

They stare at each other for a brief moment and Sana feels the shame of how she hacked into her brother’s Facebook and posted his messages to Jamilla on his wall. It isn’t her finest moment and she knows she caused a lot of hurt to both of them. In fact, Karim only started talking to her again a couple of weeks back.

“ _Assalamu wa’alaykum_ ,” Jamilla says. “How are you?”

“ _Wa’alaykum assalam_. _Alhamdullilah_ , I’m good,” she replies and then pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth for a split second before taking a deep breath and saying, “I’m really sorry about…you know…The Incident.”

“Are you?”

Sana frowns. “Yeah, of course. I know it wasn’t you and I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

Jamilla nods. “Okay then. We’ll forget about it. Got time for a coffee?”

Sana stares at her unable to believe that she’s prepared to forgive her that easily. “That’s it?”

“What? You want me to scream and shout at you? I’m pretty sure Karim handled that for both of us.”

Shuddering at the memory of just how angry her eldest brother had been, she nods and says, “Yeah.”

“Are you planning to do anything like that again?”

“No!” she says emphatically.

“So what’s the point of me staying mad you?”

Tears flood her eyes at just how easily Jamilla is shaking her actions off. She doesn’t deserve for her to be so generous and forgiving about it. Sana really crossed the line when she invaded Jamilla and Karim’s privacy the way she did. With a tremulous smile, she says, “Thank you.”

“Of course, _okhati_. So do you have time for coffee?”

“I have chemistry now.”

“When do you finish school today?”

“At 2pm.”

“Perfect. I’m done by lunchtime today. How about we meet at the coffee shop around the corner?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“See you then. _Masalama_ ,” Jamilla says with a wave of her hand over her shoulder.

Sana watches her walk down the hallway a little apprehensively. She wants to connect to Jamilla again. Yousef’s words about how the she was just looking out for Sana because she cares have swum around her head for days now. Plus, she misses Jamilla. Misses how much fun it was to have her around. Someone she doesn’t need to explain everything little thing to because she gets it. She’s a second generation Muslim growing up in Oslo, too.

And then there’s the fact that Jamilla’s going to be her sister-in-law as her mum keeps pointing out. It’s going to be hard to continue to avoid her once she and Karim are married. Also there’s the issue of kids. Does Sana really want to be a peripheral figure for whatever children Jamilla and Karim have? Because that’s what will happen if she and Jamilla stay on bad terms.

No, this meeting is a good thing. A chance to clear the air and start afresh.

\---------

“So Yousef,” Jamilla says, passing over a coffee as Sana sits down.

“Huh?”

“You’re the talk of the third year. You and your boyfriend who scares the shit out of Karl.

“ _Yousef_?” Sana asks incredulously. “ _Yousef_ scares Karl?”

Jamilla cracks a smile. “I know. But I’ve heard the Penetrator boys talking about the violent Bakka boy who was angry at Karl treating his girlfriend badly. It took me a while to connect the story to Yousef Acar of all people.”

She can’t help but laugh at the thought of Yousef being scary. Other than Even and Mikael, he’s the gentlest out of all her brother’s friends. The peacemaker. The one who wants to calm everyone down. “Scared of Yousef!”

“You know how it is,” Jamilla says with a roll of her eyes. “White boys always freak out about brown Muslim boys. Apparently he’s going to wage _Jihad_ on Karl for even looking at his girl.”

Sana snorts and shakes her head in disbelief at how dumb people were towards Muslims. Taking a sip of her coffee, she looks down at she plays with a spoon. “Why did you go to Yousef?”

Silence follows her question and she looks up to see Jamilla looking pensive. “I was worried.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

Jamilla raises an eyebrow. “Would you have listened?”

Sana has to acknowledge the truth of her words. She’s been defensive when it comes to Jamilla’s advice ever since those texts sent last October. “Probably not.”

“I’m sorry for being harsh on you regarding your friends,” Jamilla says. “I just…I worry about you, Sana. And I know you can take care of yourself. You’re one of the toughest people I know, but you shouldn’t always have to fight so hard. Let people look out for you once in a while.”

Tears spring to her eyes and she blinks them back hard. She’s not going to cry in the middle of a coffee shop and ruin her make-up, especially when most people will assume she’s crying about some kind of oppression and not because of how full her heart feels just to hear Jamilla say that.

“I’m not sure I remember how to do anything else,” she confesses.

Jamilla looks at her with understanding. “I know.”

A pause falls between them, but it’s comfortable; a reminder of easy it is just to exist around Jamilla. There’s no tensing if the _adhaan_ on her phone rings out or the need to explain the Arabic word she’s unthinkingly used or having to answer stupid questions about her faith or culture.

“I missed you,” she says a little shyly.

Like her, Jamilla constantly has her guard up. They have to appear tough otherwise society will batter them unrelentingly like waves upon rocks during a storm. They don’t get to be soft and gentle like white girls. There’s no easy forgiveness of their mistakes. If they mess up then society holds them to account in ways they don’t their white counterparts. She’s missed having someone who just instinctively gets that. Who doesn’t call her paranoid or tell her it’s her duty to explain things to Norwegian society.

Smiling softly, Jamilla says, “I missed you, too.”

\-----------

Two weeks later and Yousef still hasn’t figured out a way to ask Sana out for real. They’ve seen each other several times to keep the pretence up and every single time he’s fallen even more in love with her, which hasn’t helped him discuss their situation. He gets completely tongue tied around at even the thought of telling her that he likes her for real. What if she turns him down? At least this way he gets to see her and spend time with her.

The ping of his phone pulls him out of his whirling thoughts and he picks it up from his bedside table.

 **Elias:** _Bro, come and save me please!_

 **Yousef:** _What’s wrong?_

 **Elias:** _My house has been taken over by wedding fever._

 **Elias:** _I need help_

 **Elias:** _Mama and Jamilla have turned the front room into a wedding salon and don’t even get me started on the kitchen._

 **Elias:** _Also I’ve been drafted into helping._

 **Elias:** _I need some extra hands and someone to stop me going crazy._

 **Yousef:** _I’ll be there in ten._

The countdown to Jamilla and Karim’s wedding had kicked off in earnest in the past week, which has Elias grumbling like crazy about his house being taken over.

When he gets to the house, Elias leads him into the kitchen and gestures at the covered surfaces and says, “See! This place has more tulle than is necessary.”

Yousef has to admit it’s a lot. There’s piles of sugar almonds, wrapped chocolates and tulle and ribbon and Karim is sitting at the kitchen table putting almonds and chocolates into the little squares of tulle and tying them up with ribbons.

“Please tell me you’ve got nimble fingers, Yousef,” Karim says.

“I’m not bad. I helped prepare these for my sister Ayse’s wedding a couple of years back.”

“Good because Elias is useless. His look messy and Jamilla is definitely going to veto them.”

“Hey!” Elias objects. “I’m trying!”

“Why don’t you be useful and make us some tea instead,” Karim says. “This is thirsty work.”

“Where’s everyone else?” Yousef asks.

Karim shoots him a teasing look. “You mean Sana?”

His cheeks reddened and he says, “No…no…not just Sana.”

“Yeah, right,” Elias mutters. “You don’t even come and visit just me anymore. All you ask about is Sana and disappear to spend time with her.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m here to help you now.”

Shaking his head at his younger brother’s theatrics, Karim says, “Sana and Mama are trying on their kaftans for the wedding. Checking that no final alterations needs to be made.”

“Oh,” Yousef says and bends his head to get on with constructing the wedding favours.

The pile of completed ones steadily grows at the side of the table. He and Karim have a good rhythm and they utilise Elias to put the completed ones in the boxes and refill the sugar almonds and chocolates when necessary.

“Karim! Elias! Mama doesn’t like this style of hijab with my kaftan. What do you think?” Sana asks, bursting into the kitchen forty minutes after he arrives.

Looking up at the sound of her voice, the air in Yousef’s chest leaves in a painful whoosh as he catches sight of Sana, who’s stopped just inside the kitchen and is staring back at him. He’s never seen her look so beautiful and that’s saying something. She’s wearing a royal blue kaftan with gold embroidery running down it the length as well as wrapping around her waist and the cuffs of the sleeves.

“Oh!” she exclaims in surprise. “I didn’t realise you were here, Yousef.”

He knows he should reply but he’s lost the ability to form words and can only stare at her in awe. She blushes under his intense scrutiny and he’s doesn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable but he cannot tear his eyes away from the vision she makes.

“I think the hijab is fine,” Karim says dryly. “It seems to have struck Yousef dumb.”

Elias snickers and Yousef finally manages to utter words. Unfortunately, all he can say is, “Wow! Sana you look…wow.”

“You think it’s nice?” Sana asks shyly, looking down and spreading her skirt a little.

He stands then and walks towards her. “It’s more than nice. You look stunning.”

Karim coughs behind them and says, “Elias, I think there’s some different coloured ribbon in the book room. Come and help me look for it.”

A charged silence falls between them as they're left alone and Yousef reaches out a finger to trace around the embroidery on the cuff of her sleeve. She raises her eyes to his and looks adorably bashful that he wants to catch her up against his chest and press his lips to hers. But he can’t. He knows that she would never go for that and he would never want to do anything to discomfort her.

“No one is even going to be looking at Jamilla with you dressed like this.”

“Hey!” she says, slapping his arm lightly with a soft grin on her face. “Jamilla looks amazing and is going to be the star of her wedding. I can’t wait for Karim to lose his shit when he sees her.”

“Is he going to lose it as much as I am in this moment?”

“Are you losing it?” she asks a little hesitantly as if she’s afraid of his answer.

His heart pounds heavily in his chest and he knows this is the moment he’s been waiting for. Either he speaks now or he’s never going to manage it. “Totally. Totally fucking losing it.”

Her hand reaches out for his and she entangles her fingers with his and he’s pretty sure his heart is going to explode out of his chest it’s racing so fast.

“I love you, Sana,” he confesses involuntarily, any cool he’s ever possessed completely disappearing. He winces as he realises just what he’s said. “I mean…I…I,” he flounders before falling silent.

There’s no way he can just say he likes her because it would be lying. His feelings are so much stronger than mere like. He adores every inch of her. Admires her intellect and strength of personality. Wants to stand by her side and help her conquer the world as he knows she will.

He’s probably scaring her off with such a declaration but he’s tired of hiding his feelings away. Of suppressing them and squashing them down so tight that it hurts not to tell her how much he reveres her.

“I don’t mean to come on so strong, but, Sana, these past weeks have been hell. Pretending to be your boyfriend has been painful when I want so badly to be your actual boyfriend.”

Her fingers twitch against his and he squeezes them comfortingly. “Tell me if I have any hope. If I don’t then I promise I won’t mention it again. I won’t bother you with my feelings.”

“You really mean it?” she asks, her voice so quiet that he has to bend his head to hear her.

“Yeah. Of course I do. Who could not fall in love with you?”

“I think I love you too,” she says more surely, joy shining out of her eyes.

“You sure?”

She rolls her eyes then. “No, dummy, I just said it because I didn’t want you to feel left out. Yeah, I mean it. You wore me down with your endlessly dorky moves.”

“You love my dorky moves,” he replies with a grin.

“I do,” she says, grinning widely.

He’s never seen her look as beautiful as she does in this moment and he can’t believe he has a role in it. A part in making this wonderful girl shine so brightly she’s in danger of eclipsing the sun.

Tugging her closer to him, he asks, “Can I hug you?”

Her response is to throw her arms around him and tuck her head into the crook of his neck. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he closes his eyes as emotions threaten to overwhelm him. He’s not sure he deserves this outcome but he’ll grab it with both hands.

“Mama’s going to kill you if you ruin your kaftan snuggling Yousef,” Elias interrupts. “Also stop distracting the hired help, Sana. We’re never going to get these favours finished otherwise.

They jump apart and giggle, a little embarrassed about getting caught hugging. Elias makes a gagging noise and calls out to his brother. “Come and save me, Karim. They are being gross and I’m going to vomit in a minute. And your wedding favours won’t look cute with my vomit all over them.”

“I better get back and changed,” Sana says a little reluctantly.

“Come back when you’ve finished?”

“No, no, no!” Elias says. “She can come back when these favours are finished.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Some glossary terms:  
> Arabic  
> Adhaan - call to prayer  
> Assalamu wa'alaykum - Islamic greeting - means peace be upon you  
> Alhamdullilah - praise be to God  
> Okhati - my sister  
> Masalama - goodbye  
> Jihad - often mistranslated as holy war (Penetrators use it like this) but actually just means struggle  
> Turkish  
> küçük kardeşim, - little sibling  
> anneanne - maternal grandma  
> börek - spinach and cheese pastry that is amazing  
> Aşk-ı Memnu - a popular Turkish soap opera  
> iyi geceler - goodnight
> 
> To get an idea of Sana's wedding outfit, google Moroccan formal kaftan.
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://rumaan.tumblr.com/) if you wish


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